New Blog is At www.comecloser.com/blog

The streaming songs work there.

1) Prelude: The Gentle Art of Not Forgetting 1:38

This song was available on the 2006 compilation `Abandoned In Situ.’ So you regulars out there, I am sorry that the first thing you are hearing is something you already own.

The Hot Attic of Despair

When I listen to this track, I remember being in my attic (I lived in the attic in my parent’s house) and playing the piano part. I remember the Green and Orange signal level lights on the Tascam 4 Track jumping up and down.

I remember the oppressive New Jersey heat and humidity, the sweat dripping off my nose onto the white keyboard keys. I had an air conditioner that only cooled 1 square foot of the room and I was 20 feet away. Average temperature in the summer was about 110 degrees in that attic.

Despite the heat, I loved that attic. It had dark brown faux wood beams and a cathedral-style ceiling. It kind of looked like an old rustic Swiss tavern. In better times, it was a great haven. I was fortunate to have spent my `tender years’ in such swanky digs.

It was mid-week and I was absorbed in my microcosm until the weekend job; which consisted of lugging musical gear up and down Interstate 95 for a tribute band. Where would I be this week? Poughkeepsie? Providence? Vermont? They were all the same to me. Except for West Virginia.

I really wanted to be on stage, interact with a crowd, not behind the scenes setting up drums and lights. I couldn’t free myself to be on stage, I couldn’t free myself to connect with others. After the hours of setting up gear, I spent the duration of the show watching the band, wishing I was playing. No one’s fault but my own. It was all there for the taking but I was too stupid and proud to go for it.

Same Day, Everyday.

I don’t need specific memories to know that I was miserable at that time. Every week day I felt I was sitting around with a steel box encasing my head. Too crippled to go out THERE and do anything or interact with anyone. So I stayed in my attic; recording this thing that I felt had profound power. I felt it had purpose.

It wasn’t heartbreak that was consuming me when I wasn’t recording. It was the lack of control I had over the situation; and the complete inability to govern my emotions in order to move on. Or perhaps I had too much control and was the one responsible for setting all the negative incidences in motion?

Or maybe, just maybe, New Jersey girls are simply insane. You’ve heard the stories…

It angered me knowing that the girls of Orchid (We will call them Flower #1 thru #3 respectively.) were having a better more fulfilling life than I. Especially that they helped facilitate this state, alongside my immaturity and inexperience.

To know that anyone with basic motor functions could sense the despair and desperation sweating out of me was disheartening. And somehow I maintained a personality that was a hybrid of rotten meat and narcissism.

Recollection

I do recall that this introduction was written a few weeks after the completion of `Orchid.’ For whatever reason, I thought `Orchid’ needed a proper introduction. And for the past few hours I was wondering what that reason was. While in my zeal of beating up my junior self, I thought I created the prelude to show off the theme of `Orchid’ and how clever I was to build the entire album around it. The more I think about it, the creation came about because I was simply playing the piano on that June day. I have faint recollections of `hey, that’s pretty nice.’

I know I somewhat improvised the introduction with no metronome/click track or MIDI. The synth Glockenspiel (which sounds NOTHING like a glockenspiel) is awkward with its interplay to the Korg Barely Sounds Like A Piano Piano sound.

The `soaring’ distortion sound at the end plays a big role on `Orchid.’ You will hear it quite a bit in other tracks. It’s a sonic motif that I think was meant to represent a sort of screaming soul. It was a subconscious move on my part to use this distortion as the main orator of my emotions.

Regardless if my intention was to be brilliant and clever, I still like this introduction. Personally, I believe this piece tells more of the story and emotional state than the remainder of the album.

In the background you can hear an almost buzzing pulse. If you turn it up loud, you’ll hear that it’s a distorted piano. This was not intentional. What you are hearing is tape bleed from the song `Where We Rest.’ The very end of `Where We Rest’ actually.

Either I was too lazy or couldn’t afford more cassettes to record on. So I just recorded over what I had.

That tape bleed makes the song. It’s something out of the Pink Floyd playbook.

The beginning meets the end. There we go again: Ouroboros.

Bonus Track: The Gentle Art of Not Forgetting – 2009 Version (Unfinished)

I mentioned in my first post that re-recording `Orchid’ in 2009 was a rather miserable and pointless endeavor. Below is the unfinished version of `The Gentle Art of Not Forgetting’ which was done only a few weeks ago. As you will hear, all the `accoutrements’ are missing. It’s just a Piano, Celeste and Glockenspiel.

I was unable to re-create that Screaming Distortion sound because I no longer have a Korg 01/W (now back with its rightful owner.) Not being able to properly re-create or replace that sound was the definitive end. While I could have obtained this keyboard, I was not motivated to do so.

Korg 01/W: Workstation, Sequencer, Trusted Companion

My new blog is at www.comecloser.com/blog

August 2009 is the 10^th anniversary of the `Orchid’ demo. It was considered my first `real’ work and considered by some to be my best. (Though I vehemently disagree)

For the next 19 weekdays, I will be releasing, each day, a track from this demo. I’m going to share my recollections behind each song, some opinions as well as talk about my life at that time.

At the end of the 19 days, the CD version will be available to buy. It will be a 2 CD collection. Disc 1 will be the 75 minute demo. Disc 2 will be all the outtakes and fragments.

Being that it hasn’t been released for a decade, `Orchid’ is unfinished business. While I have felt that `Torched Laughter’ is a sort of `final chapter’ to this part of my life, `Orchid’ is Ouroboros. We come to the beginning again.

It’s time to give this piece of work it’s due, YET, put it in proper perspective. A lot of what I will be reflecting on will be quite uncomfortable for me.

How `Orchid’ Will Be Posted:

The day that each post and song is due, I am going to listen to each song cold. Whatever memory pops in my head I will write it down. None of these posts will be planned. `Orchid’ was a spontaneous, albeit flawed, experience. It is appropriate to approach each recollection and song the same way.

After the jump is an FAQ, and some scattered thoughts.

Questions About `Orchid:’

If you have any additional questions, please leave a comment. I will answer as truthfully as my ego allows.

Why was it never released?

1) It’s a demo. The recording quality is horrific. The performances were exceedingly worse. I never thought the spirit and intent of the piece would outshine these basic fundamental flaws. To this day I feel this way. When I listened to `Orchid’ I always heard what it SHOULD be, not what it really is. You can’t be expected to do the same.

2) Almost every attempt at re-recording could never capture the emotional state. I have made 3 attempts at re-recording `Orchid’ and each attempt drifted more towards sterility. And those attempts will be posted.

3) For every opportunity that there was to record and release it, there were newer and fresher ideas to do. I eventually took re-recording `Orchid’ as a symbolic affront. The act negates the principle of personal “progress.” I have ruthlessly beaten myself up through the years trying to push my being forward.

Why Release It Now?

The world likes round numbers. Pythagoras liked the number 10 a lot. Lastly, a synergy occurred where those who nagged me about it and my desire to terminate my current incarnation culminated. It’s unfinished business.

I am flattered that some people still want this album. But I think the interested parties are too emotionally invested in `Orchid.’ Without knowing the process and the story behind making it, it lacks the impact I sought to make. Again, just my opinion.

Despite teasing pieces of `Orchid’ over the years and mythologizing it like a sacred lost scroll, it has been a hermetically sealed skeleton of my past that is full of flaws, misguided ideas, and an inconceivable amount of emotional anguish and artistic frustration. Why not air these grievances against myself? Enough time has passed.

Lastly, I don’t have anything new that I want to release under `Christopher’ in 2009. Might as well get this out of the way until I figure out what I want to do next.

Why is it called `Orchid?’

3 women, 3 relationships with the flower. 2 had tattoos of them on their bodies. 1 of them drew these flowers constantly (and ended up being the original demo cover to be posted later on) It was a common affinity that didn’t go unnoticed. Being that `Orchid’ is a concept record that consolidates these 3 relationships into one mega relationship of misery and self pity, it made perfect sense to use this flower as the archetype.

While in this day and age you could probably go to www.girlswithorchidtattoos.com and see how un-unique and unimaginative some women are, back then before complete internet overkill the recurrence of this flower seemed quite sublime.

It really didn’t occur to me that the majority of girls on earth simply LIKE flowers. This basic truism totally escaped me and probably was a key indicator why I ended up in unfortunate situations involving estrogen. But this is a good thing. If not for this obliviousness, I probably would have ended up naming the album I’LL KILL YOU CUNT.

No apostrophe.

In the end, the parallels and causality of the 3 women were consolidated into one relationship; taking experiences and elements of each to create the Uber Misery Relationship that is `Orchid.’

How `Orchid’ Was Recorded Since It’s Too Dreadful to Be Released?

It was your typical 4 Track Cassette Demo. In the 90’s, a Tascam 4 Track Cassette machine was my best friend to record ideas and to deal with being a wayward self-important soul.

Sound samples (like `When The Levee Breaks’) were recorded onto a Minidisc player because the computer didn’t have enough room to hold a sound longer than a minute.

After they were edited on the 386 computer and looped for minutes. Then I would manually sync the Minidisc to the 4 track. I would start the loop about 30 seconds before it was supposed to come in because I would be adjusting the speed of the tape until it matched up. That’s why when you listen to `Orchid’ you hear samples that fall out of time. The first 2 minutes of `My Love’ is a great example of not being able to sync up the tape to the Minidisc.

I didn’t have the technical understanding to buy a bigger hard drive so I could actually record on the computer. I was on the road making a 100 dollars a week lugging musical instruments around that were not my own.

Why Didn’t You Re-Record `Orchid’ Properly?

There were 3 attempts to re-record `Orchid.’

The 1^st attempt was that same summer of 1999 at the insistence of a friend. I cannot clearly remember. But I do remember commuting to 2 different Studios twice a week in Wesley Hills and New Paltz, New York. I saved and spent every cent to my name trying to get the most rudimentary stuff done. It took weeks and hundreds of dollars just to synchronize the samples to the music. Neither studio had the proper facilities to do this type of thing at the time. It was my own ignorance that financially killed the `Orchid’ re-recording. I couldn’t afford to buy the DAT tapes that I recorded to.

2^nd attempt was when I procured my first Pentium Computer with enough power to record music on it. This attempt was partially successful; `Longing Is…’ `Inside This Place’ `The Taste,’ `Entranced 3.0’ ended up replacing the inferior originals. I was working on my `official’ debut `wer Next Projekt’ at the same time and descending even further into misery; I was resistive to doing anymore `Orchid’ work. Wounds were still fresh and way too attached to the emotions.

The 3^rd and last attempt at recording Orchid was just prior to this release. It was my intention to release `Orchid’ as a 2 disc set: Old and new versions together. But as the recording process went on (for just a week) I felt I was wasting my time. It was ugly, turbulent with a subtext of listlessness. I had a feeling of peace when I stopped and decided to just release the original demo. There is no more to add to an already finished story. The re-recording had a distasteful tinge of nostalgia to it.

I ended up re-recording 2 tracks partially: `The Gentle Art of Not Forgetting’ and `Entranced 1.0.’ While the new versions were better sounding than the original and have an air of mature arrangement, they lacked the spirit and intent that made `Orchid’ what it was: Classical angst-ridden heartbreak.

Reflections

Honestly, there are several moments on `Orchid’ that give me uncomfortable feelings. I think the clinical term is `Douche Chill.’ I will point them all out as we go through each song together. I hope to be able to present a balanced view of the album, but there is a lot on there that I think was lazy, inexcusable shit.

In Closing:

Tomorrow begins our journey through `Orchid.’ Just like the album, we are going to ease into the process. Start small, and eventually get to big, more sordid and histrionic experiences.

www.comecloser.com/ikonowerk/christopher_lucifer_rising.mp3

That is the new link for the re-interpretation of the Jimmy Page soundtrack `Lucifer Rising.’  Had to consolidate servers a few weeks ago. So if you were looking for it and were getting a `not found’ error, here is all 27 minutes or so of it.

For the newly curious, the above is a cover of the Jimmy Page’s soundtrack for Lucifer Rising. More info can be found on this project in the `Lucifer Rising’ section of the blog.

www.comecloser.com/ikonowerk/christopher_lucifer_rising.mp3

36 minutes after my original blog about the death of my domain Christopher.mu, I find that the domain now works. I have not heard anything further from this domain company. Perhaps they realized the error? Perhaps there were mystical forces at work that felt my domain issue was way more important than the suffering of those in 3^rd tier economies?

Either way, the domain now works. For now. When it goes down again I’ll be sure the next Death Pronouncement is a cornucopia of woe and self pity,

There are probably several people out there who click on the domain www.christopher.mu and get greeted with a cold `SITE UNAVAILABLE’ and are probably assuming that Christopher has disappeared off the internet. Only detritus of myspace profiles and reviews going to dead ends remain of this misadventurous artist.

The domain went offline on September 30, 2008.

The same exact day the album `Torched Laughter’ was released.

This wasn’t my choice but the domain provider’s decision. The timing could not have been worse. It took over 2 weeks to even attempt to renew the domain. By that point it was pointless. The damage was done.

Several CD’s went to the distributor, press, etc with that domain. Had to explain to them that the domain is now dead. Any content on the internet associated with me that I have control over had to be changed.

While I initially tried to renew the domain, they wanted more money and wanted me to pay for the past 2-3 years. I disagreed with having to pay for these `already paid for’ years. They disagreed with my disagreement. And here we are now. They want more money, I want a domain that works. Neither of us will get what we want, and I care not to have my career sabotaged by a stupid domain; or lack thereof.

So, with equal parts anger and stubbornness only ascribed to mythical dwarves in Forgotten Realms novels, I said goodbye to the domain which I invested a considerable amount of time into for the past 6-7 years. C’est la vie.

From a website perspective, it certainly has been ugly since the loss of the domain, but one has to soldier on. Good old www.comecloser.com is still in service thankfully.

The .mu extension was a weird one. When they first went online, Billboard magazine was touting them as the official `Music Domain.’ Artists like Janet Jackson and Sting were able to circumvent cyber squatters who owned Janet.com and Sting.com thanks to the .mu extension.

When I heard about this, I immediately grabbed up the Christopher.mu domain through a 3^rd party company called Samsdirect. I got rather tired of the emails from the owners of Christopher.com or christopherx.com etc offering to sell their domain to me for an affordable rate of $50,000.

Later on I found out .mu was not a music domain. It was reserved for the island of Mauritius. A small island off of Madagascar who housed the last dodo birds prior to their extinction.

At this time I’m not planning on finding some new variant of `Christopher’ in a domain name.

Christopher

www.comecloser.com

www.myspace.com/officialchristopher

Buy CD – MP3 Version- FLAC Version

CD Version:$6.99 Standard DVD Case, album art, etc.

MP3 Version: $4.00 All songs 320 kbps encoded. DRM Free. Comes with a 13 Page PDF Booklet and Web Extras such as wall paper, avatars, etc.

FLAC Version: $4.00 Lossless Compression. Comes with a 13 Page PDF Booklet and Web Extras such as wall paper, avatars, etc.

Or

Torched Laughter & Smoke and Origination Bundle:

MP3 Version: $10.00 All 18 songs 320 kbps encoded. DRM Free. Comes with 2 PDF Booklets and Web Extras such as wall paper, avatars, etc.

FLAC Version: $10.00 All 18 songs Lossless Compression. Comes with 2 PDF Booklets and Web Extras such as wall paper, avatars, etc.

If you want to listen to all the songs on `Torched Laughter,’ you can hear them on the front page at www.comecloser.com

Some Notes:

I intended to do some updates prior to the release, but there was way too much to do. In order to release this album the way I wanted to, I had to sacrifice any updates/blogging to get everything ready. Hell, I’m still getting everything ready.

About the FLAC and MP3 Versions of `Torched Laughter:’

While you can get the album on i-tunes, (eventually. They take forever.) I set up the option where you can buy the album in better quality and get a whole bunch of extras that would not be available on i-Tunes or any of those sites and it’s considerably cheaper.

For the time being, the MP3 and FLAC versions are available through Paypal.

It was a lot of work and pretty risky to release the albums in multi-formats before the digital distributors get their hands on them because this is the first time I’m managing it on my own. If you experience any issues trying to purchase and download the music, let me know: info@comecloser.com

Thanks to all of you for your support and being involved peripherally in the recording of this album. You had to endure over 8 months of my constant yammering, and now you can hear what I’ve worked extremely hard at. Hope it was worth the wait.

Domain/Website Issues -

Talk about perfect timing, I’m having a dispute with a domain company regarding christopher.mu. As of now, it will NOT work. Please use www.comecloser.com
to access the site. I have no idea when this will be resolved.

-Christopher

Hi All,

The artwork is being done right now. It looks fantastic. Why? Because I’m not doing it. Doing everything yourself is severely overrated.

The front cover is done but the inner sleeve and liner notes need to be finished. The visuals are somewhat related to `Smoke and Origination’ and the `artwork for each song’ concept is present on this album. When I have a tangible release date in my mind, I’ll post the artwork. I would hate to post it now, and through some profound bad luck the album is held back until 2009. 

Some other notes:

I don’t have a whole lot to report on regarding the release date of `Torched Laughter.’ I’m shooting for September but I am going to take my time and release it properly with hopefully minimal stress.

Press folks, you’re getting the album after it’s released. It has nothing to do with illegal downloading. It has everything to do with the 1-5 month lead times websites and magazines have. Trying to synchronize my record to your schedule just does not work. It certainly didn’t work last time. And I have no cocaine to bribe you with.

I was going to post a `final last word’ on the `Torched Laughter Studio Diary’ experience. I’m looking over it now; it’s very long winded and quite negative. I think I’m going to give myself some more time before I write my final thoughts on this recording experience. It was pretty exhausting all the way to the mastering process.

Thanks to all of you checking out my Hockey Night In Canada Theme Song Entry. Please view it and share it. Here it is again: http://anthemchallenge.cbc.ca/mediadetail/298424

http://anthemchallenge.cbc.ca/mediadetail/298424

I just submitted my entry to the Hockey Night In Canada Theme Music Contest. Please check it out.

For you non-Canadians who are not familiar with this contest, here is the backstory:

Hockey Night In Canada is one of Canada’s most watched weekend shows. It features NHL Hockey games. The Theme Music to this show has been part of the Canadian lexicon since 1968. Over the past year there has been a legal and financial rift between the show producers (CBC TV) and the composer. Neither party could come to an agreement so the license for this original Theme song has not been renewed.

CBC decided to hold a contest to see if us Canadians could come up with a new theme. Thousands have entered (like myself) and the odds of winning are fairly low. I am going to assume that most views, comments, and ratings will play a large roll in the voting process. The goal right now is to get this submission into the Semi-Finals so you and CBC producers can vote on it. So please view it, share it on facebook, tell your friends if you like it.

I’m up against famous Canadians and other signed or former signed acts along with hobbyists and struggling artists. I believe that the theme I created is an appropriate addition to the Hockey Night In Canada program.

The name of the piece is called `Yours to Hold High.’

Again the link is: http://anthemchallenge.cbc.ca/mediadetail/298424

`Torched Laughter’ was officially finished on August 2^nd 2008 at 3:12pm.

More details to follow.

Mastering audio is a horrid, horrid process. It takes a very special set of ears and perception to do this type of job. I do not have those ears. But since I am not budgeted for a proper mastering specialist, it’ll be DIY.

Mixing, with all its warts, algorithms, and soul sucking cubicle-esque methodology, is tolerable. There is a lot of room to play around and get creative.

Mastering? Hah. No. It’s about adding the polish to make the final recording sound vibrant and stellar. You know that glossy sheen you hear on your favourite songs that make it sound all professional? That’s mastering. Thankfully, the product I am working on is my own. If I was mastering someone else’s album, I probably would eat a bullet.

Mastering is also a deceptive and seductive mistress. With all the mastering software and outboard gear at your disposal, you can easily wreck a recording simply through making it incrementally louder and adding more eq. Each increment sounds glossier and louder than the previous step. Before you know it, you have this over-processed over-loud recording that is louder and harsher than any Brit Pop record.

The other deception is when you THINK you are done. As I thought I was on Saturday. I heard the playbacks on desktop, laptop, car, and home theatre speakers. They sounded great. Fantastic to my fatigued ears, actually. I almost wrote a great press release proclaiming that the recording was finally completed. I would exhale yet another effervescent breath and move on to other things.

Then I listened again Sunday. And since Sunday I’ve been eq’ing and compressing (tastefully) until the damn thing sounds right. The problem with the initial finished product is that it was too hot, too harsh and sounded `narrow.’

In other words, it sounds like every other professionally recorded album out there right now.

You know that glossy sheen you hear on your favourite songs that make your ears tired and you can’t listen to an entire album straight through? That’s mastering.

That other devil within Mastering is its capability to make something unnaturally loud without distorting that much. This realisation started the great LOUDNESS WARS of the 90’s which continues today. Record labels, and now bands, think that in order to compete on the radio and your mp3 player, they have to be louder than the next recording. The problem this causes is that when a well mastered recording with a respectable volume is played against a hard mastered song, that well mastered recording does indeed sound weak. Our stupid ears respond to intervallic relationships, not on actual sound.

After a good 10 years of listening to recordings that are very hot, I am conditioned to make it very loud and hot as well. It’s an ugly practice contributing to the decline of this art. Fortunately, you can get the best of both worlds (volume, sheen, and tasteful) but it takes a bit of work to do. I have 3 songs I am very happy with so far. Only 3 to go. They should be finished tonight.